


Hush, Little Baby

by watermelonikaz



Category: Holostars, Virtual Streamer Animated Characters
Genre: Hanakishi mention, Happy Ending, Implied Sexual Content, Jealousy, Light Angst, M/M, Misunderstandings, Past Relationship(s), Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 09:02:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29964036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watermelonikaz/pseuds/watermelonikaz
Summary: Astel and Temma are in a secret relationship, and Temma keeps ramping up his involvement in HanaKishi.
Relationships: Astel Leda/Kishido Temma
Comments: 8
Kudos: 11





	Hush, Little Baby

**Hush, Little Baby**

_ “Hush little baby, don't say a word, _

_ Papa's gonna buy you a mockingbird.” _

The  _ upside  _ of having a secret relationship was that they had no one to answer to but themselves. There were no expectations -- unsaid or otherwise -- from the people around them when it came to their behavior. They didn't have to act like what everyone expected a couple to be. They didn't have to explain their actions to anyone but each other. Misunderstandings were easier to resolve since they only required listening to one voice instead of many from well-meaning but meddling friends. 

The  _ downside  _ of having a secret relationship was that because no one knew, no one respected it by default. People would flirt with Astel constantly, and Temma himself had an established pairing with someone else that he was meant to encourage on-screen-- because that's what the audience wanted to see and they were, one way or another (despite the jokes they all made about their CEO's dead dream), professionals who wanted their fanbase happy.

"It's his birthday later," Astel murmured. "Don't forget."

Temma made a small sound of acknowledgement though he didn't move from where he was lying on the couch, his head pillowed on Astel's thighs. He kept his eyes closed, savoring the feeling of Astel's hand running gently through his hair. Every now and then, Astel would hum a familiar tune while doing it, and it was soothing.

Astel's other hand was busy fiddling through his phone -- he always seemed to be checking on one thing or another -- and Temma had the suspicion that his lover was watching someone else’s stream and interacting with them.

Temma wasn't jealous, of course. Or even if he was, he wasn't going to say anything. After all, Astel made much more concessions for him when it came to  _ Miyabi _ .

It wasn't like Temma had started the whole HanaKishi couple thing on purpose. He'd just been playing along with his senior -- his friend -- and it had blown up into something that clicked with their viewers so he'd leaned into it. Maybe Miyabi was misinterpreting their relationship -- Temma never bothered to ask -- but since the redhead wasn't saying anything outright, there was no cause for concern just yet. They could just keep going at the pace they'd settled into.

Astel's jealousy spiked every now and then, his aggressive comments against Miyabi in the chat section of HanaKishi’s streams thankfully taken by the other viewers as just him joking. Sometimes, Temma made it worse on purpose -- acted a little sweeter to Miyabi and a little meaner to Astel while streaming -- just because Astel would be deliciously possessive afterwards, straddling him, pushing him down, and kissing him breathless. 

For the most part, however, they both tried to keep their private lives separate from what they showed to the public.

They had no plans to change. After all, the burden of the secret was easier to bear than the alternative -- that they’d tell the world, and the world would tear them apart.

* * *

Temma ended up forgetting Miyabi’s birthday anyway, which was stupid because he’d thought he’d set reminders on his phone. He’d even made sure to mention it a couple of times on stream so his viewers knew it was on his mind.

He had the sneaking suspicion that Astel had removed the alarm he’d set for midnight, but he couldn’t prove it. Then again, maybe he’d really just forgotten to set it when he’d come over. After all, they’d immediately tumbled into bed at that time and--

“Just greet him at 3:03AM,” Astel said dryly, crawling into bed and rolling his eyes at Temma’s sudden panic.

“Wha--” Temma started, frowning. He was all ready to get irritated that Astel wasn’t taking the problem seriously. Temma’s fake relationship was in jeopardy. How was he supposed to convince anyone of his supposed affections for Miyabi if he’d forgotten the man’s fucking birthday?

“March 3. Three-three. 3:03AM,” Astel clarified, even before Temma could form the question. “It’s sweet. Like you cared so much to stay up and match the time.”

“Oh,” Temma said, feeling his annoyance disappear instantly. “That’s… pretty good, actually. Thanks, Astel.”

“Whatever,” Astel said, turning on his side away from Temma and closing his eyes. “Goodnight. Lock the door when you leave.”

Temma had a feeling he should say something -- Astel seemed to be sulking a little -- but he had his hands full with the panic of having to find a gift for Miyabi in-- damn, he only had 30 minutes left to make the time Astel had mentioned.

He rushed out of bed to make preparations, and by the time he’d returned -- after properly being sweet to Miyabi on the redhead’s birthday -- Astel was already asleep.

* * *

_ “What do you even like about me?” Astel had asked way back when they’d started. He’d hidden the insecurity behind the question with a little laugh and a teasing tone, but Temma had known the question was genuine. _

_ After all, Astel had been hard to convince of Temma’s affections from the get-go. Temma didn’t know what the other man had been through in the past -- and he’d learned by now not to ask -- but it seemed as if Astel’s self-esteem varied greatly depending on what part of him was being talked about. _

_ Astel knew he was physically attractive, yes, but whoever he’d been with before seemed to have convinced him that his appeal stopped there. He seemed to believe that his personality wasn’t something people stuck around for. _

_ I’m just the person people fuck, Astel had once said, laughing. Never the guy people stick around for to have a proper relationship with. _

_ “Everything,” Temma had replied, his tone serious as he reached out to take Astel’s hand in his. “I like everything about you.” _

_ “Careful,” Astel had whispered, his cheeks flushed as he smiled. The expression was soft on his face, like it very rarely was. “I might believe you.” _

* * *

“Is that really necessary?” Astel asked, and there was a sharpness to his tone when he’d said it. He looked away before Temma could properly catch his expression and began to head to the kitchen.

Temma was explaining his plan to redouble his efforts for cementing HanaKishi in their viewers’ minds. He’d almost made a mistake on Miyabi’s birthday and it made him a little bit paranoid that people would start seeing through the onscreen lie.

He wanted to make sure that wouldn’t happen. 

And besides, the stronger HanaKishi was, the more people would leave Astel and Temma themselves alone, just like they wanted.

He explained as much to Astel and though it seemed at first like Astel wouldn’t relent -- he seemed a bit stubborn this time, though Temma suspected it was just a regular mood swing due to the depressing weather they’d been having lately -- eventually, Temma received his lover’s blessing.

“Have fun. Don’t overdo it,” Astel murmured, his eyes closing when Temma moved in to press a quick kiss to his lips before they’d part for a few days. Their schedules wouldn’t align until then -- though it was mostly Temma’s schedule, since Astel didn’t have one on purpose. Astel wanted to be available for whenever people needed him, and his schedules reflected that.

“Don’t worry,” Temma whispered back. “I won’t.”

* * *

_ “I don’t like it,” Astel said, when the first murmurs of HanaKishi had grown louder in the fandom of their group, and Temma had started to lean into the narrative. “It feels a bit like you’re cheating.” _

_ “Don’t be ridiculous,” Temma replied, tugging Astel down so his smaller lover would settle on his lap. Astel complied, but on his own terms, a leg on either side of Temma’s thighs instead of sitting sideways as he should’ve. _

_ “What’s ridiculous about it?” Astel asked, a challenge in his eyes and his tone even as he lifted his arms and let Temma pull his shirt off of him. Their first few months were like this, with Astel’s behavior a thin line between difficult and cooperative. Like he had to fight himself constantly to even let Temma in. _

_ Temma pressed a line of kisses downwards starting from Astel’s neck, hands almost reverently caressing Astel’s skin. _

_ “I would never cheat on you.” _

* * *

Maybe Temma did end up overdoing it in his zeal to accomplish the goal he’d set out for himself.

Astel had joined in the chat of an endurance stream Temma had with Miyabi and it had gotten a bit more heated than usual. Miyabi and Astel were having a bit of a back and forth and Temma had joined in, taking Miyabi’s side and throwing out what he’d thought back then was a light jab at Astel --  _ ‘what part of you is gentle?’ _

It should’ve been fine -- they did this a lot, and no matter how jealous Astel got sometimes, he never seemed to really take any of Temma’s onscreen teasing to heart -- but after that one particular stream, Astel seemed different.

For the first time, he turned down a visit from Temma after the stream, saying he had things planned for the next few days. Temma didn’t think anything of it at first -- maybe he even thought something like ‘ _ finally, Astel has a defined plan for his streams again’ _ \-- but when Astel started streaming rapidly, without leaving any chance for rest in between, he got worried.

* * *

_ “I’m just not used to it,” Astel said, when Temma had asked why he seemed more comfortable with the sex more than everything else they did. The dates, the cuddling, the gentle touches -- more often than not, Astel would flinch or tense first before he’d give in to those. _

_ The sex, however, was always passionate, like a switch would flip inside of Astel and he’d finally unleash all the energy and affection he’d been holding in for Temma. _

_ Temma didn’t like thinking about why Astel was like this, because it made him want to hunt down every single person who’d known Astel intimately in the past and teach them a painful lesson on how to properly take care of a beautiful but flickering fire of a man. _

_ “Well, you should try to get used to it now,” Temma murmured, his kisses gentle on Astel’s face, his embrace tight and full of promise. “You’re with me now, and I won’t hurt you.” _

_ “Okay,” Astel said, grinning. Over time, he’d grown more confident and more beautiful, flourishing in the relationship with Temma. They were definitely doing something right if Astel looked and acted like this. “I’ll try.” _

* * *

_ Obliviate.  _

_ The spell to make one forget specific memories. _

Temma read Astel’s tweet and felt the fear twisting inside of him. He messaged his lover, trying again -- he’d tried many times the past few days of Astel’s hectic schedule -- to ask if he could come over. They hadn’t seen each other in a while now, and though Astel did consistently reply to his messages and had even agreed to a sudden collaboration, their conversations were that of co-workers and not--

_ Sorry _ , Astel’s answering message said.  _ I feel sick today. Just go do something with your beloved Miyabi instead. _

Temma’s hands shook when he’d read the message, and he’d immediately moved his fingers and pressed the call button, because this was something they wouldn’t be able to clear up via text and--

A monotone voice told him that his call could not be connected. Astel had turned off his phone.

* * *

_ “You don’t have to keep giving me things,” Astel said, though he did laugh when Temma handed him what was probably the 20th stuffed toy he’d gifted in the relationship. Astel had said he was collecting them, and every time Temma was struck by the mood to spoil his lover -- which was often, because he truly adored Astel -- it was an easy gift that required no thinking at all. _

_ “Why not?” Temma laughed. “It’s cute and you’re cute. You and the toy match.” _

_ “Well,” Astel said, and though his tone was teasing, there was something in his eyes that was serious, like he was gauging Temma’s reaction carefully. “It’s like you’re buying my silence.” _

_ “Whaaat?” Temma said, lengthening the word in exasperation. He reached out to squeeze Astel into a tight hug, pressing a kiss to the other man’s hair. “I would never do that. I just like spoiling you.” _

_ “Mm. Okay,” Astel said, relaxing into Temma’s touch easily now. “But next time, don’t give me a gift right after you stream with Miyabi. It doesn’t feel right. Like I’m the sidepiece you’re trying to keep quiet with bribes.” _

_ Temma froze. Was that what he had been doing? “I-- I didn’t mean--” _

_ “I know, idiot,” Astel assured him. “But keep it in mind, okay? Because I really don’t like the feeling of being the afterthought.” _

_ “Okay, I promise.” _

* * *

They hadn’t told anyone the secret, but they were being torn apart anyway.

Temma stood outside of Astel’s place, his finger pressed down on the doorbell. It’d been ten minutes. He knew Astel was home -- where else would he be? -- and knew that if he was persistent enough, the door would open.

Astel may be a little bit -- or a lot -- mercurial, but he wasn’t cruel.

“I told you I was sick,” Astel said, his eyes narrowed at Temma when he finally opened the door.

“I needed to talk to you,” Temma said, already walking inside and past his lover. This place was like a second home to him and he wouldn’t be kept out. Astel didn’t stop him, merely closed the door behind him and followed him until they’d made it to the living room.

“I’m not in the mood to fuck, Temma,” Astel said, and though his voice was steady, there was both pain and anger in his expression. “I’m not feeling well.”

“You haven’t been taking care of yourself, so of course you’re not feeling well,” Temma said, sighing. He raised a hand to massage at his temple, a headache already forming as he realized belatedly that there seemed to be some sort of misunderstanding between them. “And I don’t come here just to have sex.”

Astel was silent for a moment before he shrugged and looked away. “Could’ve fooled me.”

“Astel--”

“What, Temma?” Astel interrupted, and he tensed when Temma took a few steps closer to him with outstretched hands. “Don’t touch me.”

“Are we back to this?” Temma sighed again. He lowered his arms to his sides and met Astel’s gaze steadily. “I thought you believed me when I said I--”

“What am I supposed to feel when my boyfriend is much sweeter to someone else? When he puts more effort into that someone else than he does to me? When he picks the side of that someone else in an argument?” Astel asked, his voice rising with every sentence. His hands were clenched into fists at his sides and he looked furious. “When the only thing he does to me is gives me gifts to keep me quiet and fucks me when he’s in the mood? When he doesn’t want  _ anyone  _ to know he gives a shit about me and--”

Astel’s fierce expression crumpled and he looked away, sighing. “Just go, Temma. Sorry. I’m really not feeling well. I’ll get over it in a few days and you can come over then like always.”

“No,” Temma said, and he closed the distance between them in a few steps, knowing that Astel wouldn’t push him away, not really. In the time they’d been together, Temma knew by now that when Astel got like this -- when he felt unimportant and discarded because of  _ whoever the fuck _ had planted those seeds of doubt in him in the past -- the solution was to hold him even closer and prove his stupid feelings wrong.

Astel let out an annoyed sound when Temma hugged him, but he let it happen. Temma kept his grip strong and tight, and after some time, he felt Astel return the hug just as tightly.

“Sorry,” Temma murmured, pressing a kiss to Astel’s hair, and then his temple. “I’ll start talking about you instead. We can start collaborating more often. No more Miyabi, okay?”

Astel sighed, his face pressed into Temma’s shirt. He seemed to finally relax into Temma’s embrace, and Temma was relieved that somehow, he’d still been able to get through to Astel this time before the other man had shut him out completely.

“That’s too suspicious. You don’t have to do it,” Astel said finally, pulling back to tilt his face upwards towards Temma. Temma obliged the unspoken request, initiating a slow kiss that was more of an apology than a precursor to anything sexual. Astel kissed him back, and their resolution was wordless.

They’d done a similar dance a hundred times before -- because Astel was  _ difficult  _ to love, but not  _ impossible _ , and Temma was determined not to let go of the one person he wanted the most in this world, so he kept fighting to keep his place by Astel’s side.

This was the first time that Astel had actually pulled away, however, instead of getting aggressive. It was scary for Temma, because he felt like it was the beginning of the end of their relationship if things went on in this manner.

He had to do something about it.

* * *

They started talking about each other more often in streams, allowing the viewers to glimpse a little bit more than before. Temma pulled back a little from his dedication to HanaKishi. Nothing too drastic, just showing people that Astel was in Temma’s life somehow and vice-versa. It wasn’t like they’d decided to give up all their secrets, and it wasn’t like it made a whole world of difference to the people who watched them.

It did help them, however, and they fell back into a familiar dynamic -- playful and teasing, but with the undercurrent of genuine affection beneath it. Temma found himself breathing a sigh of relief that he’d averted a disaster, but at the same time, he wanted something more permanent as a solution.

The next time he went over to Astel’s place, Temma didn’t bring a stuffed toy. 

He brought a ring.

_ “And if that mockingbird won't sing, _

_ Papa's gonna buy you a diamond ring.” _


End file.
